I was arrested for the first time, and it was fucking awful. I thought I was gonna cry when I got arrested, I did want to cry if I felt like it. No tears came just boredom and the discomfort from being put into a cop car like I was a sack of potatoes. Really the biggest shock was my bail amount, $100,000. The minimum you pay is 10% so $10,000.
The so called County of El Dorado, the government of the city of Placerville, they are greedy motherfuckers. Every county of the so called united states are governed by greedy motherfuckers, this is stolen and occupied land. They’re parasites and vampires, sucking and wringing all they can from everything and everyone they get their hands on. This is the entire goal of capitalism, the state, and . All jobs are exploitation, all bridges are conveyor belts of genocide, all the cops and courts on Earth are here to oppress and exploit everyone and everything for the benefit of the rich and those pieces of shit who take the reigns of authority.
I am a colonizer myself, no different from the Israeli colonizers in Palestine. I live on stolen land, I’ve reinforced domination and authority before. I fight the system because it dominates, but I must also fight myself, the part that dominates. I don’t care about guilt, not a healthy way of going about things, I’ve killed and laid rest to victimhood. I am mixed I’ve got natty ass dreads, society perceives me as just black. What really moves me is the attack, and the beauty of daring and subversive love, how this love and even a drop of support can move me to rend and refuse all constraints as easy as water flowing down a stream.
I heard on the radio that “love isn’t really free” I want to dare to think it is free, I want to dare to smash every social norm of a society that doesn’t bat an eye to ongoing genocides funded by the state they live in, to bring what I have to the table of a war that is occurring every day. Not to try and move others, but only myself.
I was moved to the county jail, the county cages rather. I wasn’t arrested on a construction site but a nearby place I was trespassing at. Trespassing I had done a few times before, this is my first of many failures I will endure as a starting anarchist, returning to the scene of a crime. I’m a fool and a hooligan, when you live in a rural sparsely populated place without a car and nothing to do except sit inside and play video games or enjoy the comforts and inconvenience evaporating internet it is not hard to return to the few landmarks again and again.
The dorm room I was placed into had like 15 middle aged white men inside. There were a bunch of bunkbeds side by side in 3 different rows, two showers, two toilets and a urinal, two sinks. Three large tables, there was a TV so if the pig hoe felt like giving us the pleasure of watching mass media propaganda we could. Oh how grateful I am for this land of freedom and white salvation that we could even use tablets to watch shitty movies on in a concrete dungeon!
I had the worst of the shitty bunkbeds, there was a light right overhead and that light was on all day from like 6 AM to 9 to 10 PM ish. The other prisoners were luckily not assholes, I appreciated my bunk mate the most who was an old man who had suffered a stroke, I don’t know when, but he showed me the ropes. Where to put my stuff, how to ask the pigs for a pair of headphones for the tablets, when lunch and dinner was, how to not be an asshole to the other prisoners, how the tablets worked (I never used the tablets except for once.)
Sleeping was what I did most and that was the most enjoyable thing to do. I’m not a social animal, but I kinda regret not having longer conversations with the other people in there. Never forget that those in jail are people with loved ones outside, movements outside, flames in their hearts that the state wants to snuff out. I traded food with them, cause I don’t eat carcasses or drink rape juice. After days of sleeping and watching slop on the tv, I had my hearing.
The court hearing was the worst experience of it all, I felt sick my head and heart were pounding. I died in there, really I felt lifeless my energy and spirit sapped, the most dreadful and overwhelming moment of my life, this is the goal of the courts of course. To break all your spirit and will, the court aims to juxtapose your individual self with the court and then hammer down the superiority of the court in a colorful showing of violence. Really it was physical violence against me I experience in the courts, the crime of justice that has permeated and clawed itself into the human experience.
I was kicked and slapped in front of my family by the court, embarrassed and pulverized in chains handed their “justice” that set me “free” and I use quotes around free. This world is a sort of prison itself, a harsh and fucked up world but not as harsh and shit as jail. I haven’t fully lost yet bigger and more explosive losses are coming up, like more time in cages possible months.
If I could piss on all the judges I could, I have only hostility towards them and a longing to see them dead. To see all courts and police stations burnt, I’d like to use the remains as a place to have orgies and eat foraged berries. The law has less worth than the toilet paper I wipe my ass with, really I think of it like this: A stranger is constantly throwing dogshit at you, this stranger happens to be a pro baseball pitcher throwing it from far away so he can’t see if you wipe some of the dogshit off. The stranger has a gang of other strangers who are always looking to see if you wipe some of the dogshit off, and if you do they will beat your ass and throw you in a cage. Or murder you like they love to.
When I go to jail I haven’t died or stopped being an anarchist my flame is still burning, and I will fight in the cage or on the streets. Death to pigs, none of us are free until all of us are free!
“People without hope are easy to control, but those with dreams are impossible to contain” – some youtube comment